to accept what is not understandable for me......for now...

russia was not heard of (for me) when i was first sent here. it was a disaster for me when i got the news that i got the scholarship, but was sent to russia. i felt like God was playing jokes with me. i had a dillemma, between to stay in msia doing what i dun like, and to persue my dreams in a place that wasn't the place i thought i would be for my uni life. and i chose the latter.

i went through a transition period, asking God what have i done wrong for him to send me to such a place, where i have to learn a new language, to adapt to a new system, and to meet ppl i never i thought exist in the medical world.....dun get me wrong...i dun mean anyone bad in specific.....just some ppl who can make you feel : "wa.....like that also can one ah"

everything was totally different from what my imagination of my medical school life would be....i have to worry about things medical students are not supposed to be worrying...

and i am well aware of the difference between the medical education here and the rest of the world....and i have extra things to prove when i graduate later....

all these made me wonder, is this another joke played by God to test me? will it be that on the last minute, suddenly they tell me that i can't continue my dreams anymore? and that all my hardwork so far is for nothing??

i dun understand why i was sent here, to persue a road not many is persuing. in fact, i dun understand alot of things. but i believe. i do believe somethings happen for a reason. all these wierd wierd things, all the ppl i meet, exist around me for a reason. and who knows, i might exist for other ppl's "reason".....

and i accept all that. i won't reject whatever challenge is thrown at me....i won't reject these wierd stuff which are not in their right course in my opinion. i won't judge those ppl who doesn't follow my ideal of how ppl should behave and do...i will try to accept things who are not understandable to me....coz i can't possibly understand everything....

things are easier for me that way....

u might call it denial.....but i call it acceptance....